My mother had a dentist appointment last Monday at 3:30 PM. It was going to be a long one and I wouldn’t be getting home until about 5:30. I had the day off, so I decided to prepare the potatoes ahead of time. I was trying a new recipe: Potato, Black Olive and Tomato Torta.

Without a working stovetop exhaust fan, the apartment was soon filled with the rich aroma of garlic, tomatoes and thyme. And so was every pore of my skin, hair and clothing.  When I walked outdoors, the contrast of the fresh air against my coat made the aroma even more pungent.

I cracked the window open in the car, hoping it would blow the garlic stink out of my hair.  It didn’t. “This car smells… like food,” my mother said, when I picked her up for her dentist appointment.  “Do you have food in the car?”

“No, it’s me.  I smell like a Potato, Black Olive and Tomato Torta. I was trying to get a head start on dinner.”

“I like to do that, too,” she said.

I got home at 5:30, and was glad I had started the dinner earlier.  All I had to do now was heat up the Potato, Black Olive and Tomato Torta in the oven and fry the skirt steak on my stove top.

“Mmmm!  Smells great!” my husband said, as he walked in the door that night. “I could smell that meat as I came up the stairs.”

After dinner, my husband went to the gym for about an hour, and when he got back he wrinkled his nose and said,   “Maybe you should light some candles; this place smells like meat.”

So I did.

But that only made the air smell like lemon-beef scented candles. When we went up to bed that night, the bed covers, my nightgown and pillow smelled like meat.

The next morning…

…it still smelled like meat!  So I sprayed the apartment with an orange scented room deodorizer that has been known to get rid of some pretty nasty bathroom odors.

And then, if you haven’t guessed by now, …I created the aroma of Chinese Orange Beef.

I couldn’t stand the smell anymore, so I threw my smelly beef clothes in the hamper

and took a shower.  I scrubbed my hair and body twice, to be sure I got every stinky bit of garlic, tomato, black olive and beef out of my pores.

Then I reached for a clean towel to dry myself off.  As I stretched up to dry my face and hair, I smelled it – – MEAT STINK on the clean towel!

What to do?  What could I do? I thought about opening the windows, but decided against that.  The crazy squirrels might smell the meat and think I was inviting them in for a treat.

I got dressed in some clean clothes that only had a slightly beefy smell. Then I found a little piece of leftover skirt steak in the refrigerator.  So  I fried it up with a scrambled egg and ate it for breakfast.   Yum!